Friday, June 20, 2014

Of Ismauns, Malauns, and Firauns

Of Ismauns, Malauns and Firauns

by azly rahman

 
 
Last night, while discussing Plato’s Apology (on the trial of Socrates) , a little thought the size of a tiny brain cell visited me: ahh, indeed there are Ismauns, Malauns, and Firauns in the consciousness of the Malays.

This is a good thought, I was thinking, but still not good enough for my people back home. Our challenge is to explain in simple terms the philosophical dimension of the illness plagued onto the Malays and how to explain this to the kampong folks.

And yet, I was also thinking of a cure; for the demons Ismauns, Malauns and Firauns are none other than a smart and cheap pill: Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun, a kiasu-coated pill yet to be developed to flush out all the materials that have corrupted the body, mind, and soul of the Malays.

Details on all these ‘auns’ later, as we talk about the dream of a true-blue-Johorean good and honest man Dato’ Onn, an enlightened warrior who was also fighting against the three glorified ghosts of the Malays. But first, who are the Ismauns, Malauns, and Firauns, one might ask? Warrior Onn gave up, but his spirit lives on in those wishing to exorcise those bad spirits.

Who are you these three “auns”?

ISMAUN - is the acronym for the Islamic Society of Misrepresenting All Unrepresented Malays... a self-glorifying NGO funded through their family’s crowd funding;
MALAUN - is the acronym for Malays Against All Un-united Nationalists; and
FIRAUN - needs no acronym but it could be Fraternity of Illuminated Robbers Against the Underprivileged Nations.

So we now have the explanations in this Don DeLillo-White Noise-inspired novel of Malaya Jaya - and in the land of the Bunians in Pontian, the one-eyed invisible man is king of hindsights in a city where the only medicine they administer in Klinik Kota Bunian, for every known illness is the smart pill: Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun.

Message to the intruders of Malaysian history

Okay Ismauns and Malauns. We need to come back to our senses - what about if Portugal loses against the USA, we take it to will be an insult to the Malay race because the ’Guese were the earlier colonisers of Malaya (earlier than the McDonald’s Yankees) who blasted off the immigrant Malay kings of Melakka, its founder Param-Iswara an assassin from Palembang trespassed into an Orang Asli reserved land, intruded into a lone-durian village, Kampong Durian Tunggal, got circumcised in his dream, and sat under a durian tree watching a white crocodile do a butterfly stroke in the Melakka River and a mousedeer giving a flying-Dutchman ala Johann Cruyff-Kungfu kick to a Rottweiler, loved the place and wanted the land for his kingdom .

And that includes the spot of the lone durian tree he sat under without a safety helmet. Ahhh.. I will call this kingdom ‘Melakka’ as I hope one day, no traitor will make this place rhyme with the deplorable and seditious word ‘Cilaka’, the Assassin-Prince Para-Iswara told his bodyguards - a group of men in black who were also enjoying the show eating mangosteens flown in by a special Melakka Airlines.

Now, Ismauns and Malauns: that’s a bit of history for you and so, quit complaining about intrusions. We are all rightful citizens, including all the Malaysian prime ministers - whose parents are from the Kingdom of Siam, Bugisland or Boogie-Woogie wonderland, Formosa- China, Kerala or the Valley of the Kutty-clan, and next...

If we are not careful we may have one cloned from Planet Nobiru, as an American-experiment STEM-DARPA Project in democracy and designer DNA profiling,

So Ismauns and Malauns out there: be cool, be constitutional, and learn a bit of history and don't be idiotically angry.

We are all happy intruders and good and proud shapers of history rightful citizens now most importantly

Now let me go back to watching my World Cup game.

Spirit of the constitution

But before that and before I retreat to watch the second round of the competition of the world’s most beautiful game, let me end this lamentation on a ghostly and ghastly society we have become; by asking you Ismauns, Malauns, and Firauns to help answer this question:

Why is it so excruciatingly difficult for today's Malaysian leaders to understand the concept of ‘separation of powers’? There are only three branches to hold - and maybe one more - the Fourth Estate. Back to Political Science 101?

I wonder what people are taught in schools to become leaders - only Money Making 101 and How to Make Money Politically out of Modern Slavery and call it Patriotism or 1MalaysiaEndlessSuffering?

Perhaps, if not the Magna Carta yet, or the Roman Laws or Cicero’s speeches, people should at least understand what Demang Lebar Daun said to Sri Tri Buana eons ago, with regard to a form of social contract. (Mind you - these are not the names of tobacco leaves and three-headed-crocodiles.)

Or, better still, read Rousseau will you, politicians! Time will be better spent for the nation instead of at the golf and country clubs! (Not that I am against this - as I did play golf when I was a kid with my sabit/machete cutting grass in my kampong.)

I end this piece with the question: what then must we do to these Ismauns, Malauns, and Firauns amongst us, to bring back the spirit of Warrior Onn and the Philosopher-Prince Tunku Abdul Rahman to save us?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

1/2
Aku merasa bertuah dan amat gembira sekali sebagai anak Perak ‘bersultankan’ Sultan Raja Nazrin Shah.

Rakyat Malaysia ( including this writer ) juga pastinya amat gembira ( swells with great pride and humility ) mendengar titah ucapan Tuanku yang bertitah,

‘“Do not tell me tales to send me into dreamland when the reality on the ground is something entirely different from what has been related to me... Hopefully, the members of the Dewan Negara will help me with all sincerity and honesty so that I can discharge my responsibility fairly and equitably,” titah baginda ketika merasmikan pembukaan Dewan Negara Perak yang dipetik oleh Malaysiakini bertarikh 20 Jun 2014.

Taken from the excerpt of Abu Hassan Adam's blog, another exemplary Malaysian like you, Dr. Azly.

A thought : Sultan Raja Nazrin Shah should engage someone who is honest, unassuming, intelligent, with the highest integrity and diligence, STILL residing in a humble family background to be one of his personal aide-de-camps and brief him on all the issues affecting each of the low and middle income communities; crime and safety concerns and social issues in the State.

And the brilliant and truly humble Sultan Nazrin get his staff to conference, to research, minus the redundant overseas field trips, to divert holistic sustainable short and long term human and physical developments, which directly create massive jobs to the top, middle management to the plumbers, painters, electricians, DIRECTLY involving Malaysians
based on needs which also include the voters for Pakatan. They are also citizens of Malaysia - they just want a better governance.

And Sultan Nazrin himself oversees every stage of the developments, including that all advertisements and posters in government buildings, hospital, clinics, etc showcase the multiracial residents explicitly unlike in KL, at the sites mentioned, only the predominant ethic group is showcased.

Imagine all the posters at the government dental clinics carry the pictures of budak Melayu bergigi putih dan ibunya bertudung !

Same goes to the many adverts on the LRT, KTM, JPJ, IC Dept, etc - a systematic planning started decades ago. Who have been commissioned to do these ads since, if not the agents who are linked to powerful connections ?
Practising the religion as a honest way of daily living for these " holier than thou " stops at shouting, banners, silats and threats, every must be haram, even mineral wate. next O2 ? There are few abstinence in the agama but now holier than thou have made it really stressful and complex - unattainable..

Anonymous said...

2/2

Off tangent a little, sorry about it, Prof.

No wonder many small professional companies from advertising, engineering, law firms, IT in Bolehland are not doing well for the past years. How long can they sustain ? Now talking about the sanctity of the religion which the jaguh kampung have polluted with their personal agendas.

The religion and race bigots even go against the Almighty God to, not to fear, honor and obey HIM that the " People of the Book " and every race are to be treated justly as HE alone is righteous.

If they can go against the Almighty's command as recorded, everything else including the Constitution will not be adhered to. Now that the religion and race bigots are backed up by all the necessary machinery to suppress and oppress all right thinking Malays, Muslims and fellow Malaysians when they speak up against wrongdoings.

How will they then honor the alliances and the formation of Sabah and Sarawak.

It is really shocking to read up that the bumiputeras in East Malaysia have been denied their rights to learn English, had it not, there is no need for them to use the word Allah. Universally Allah is God Almighty, they should hear how prayers are said to HIM in English in the US, right, Dr. Azly ?

Though non religious, I can't help but thinking very sad and infuriated about the cruelty, persecution done to them on top of the extreme poverty they have been subjected to, by their own greedy leaders kowtowing to the goons.

This writer also shares many of Azmi Sharom of Brave New World's thoughts, especially his article dated Wed, June 25, 2014 hence it is truly humbling there are many such righteous minded Malaysians in Bolehland. His fear on what will happen to Malaysia if the giants of the righteous muhibbah people : Malay, Chinese, Indian, etc of the X gen leave us some day ? Honestly, I dread thinking about Bolehland's incessant issues, policies and non issues morphing into threats, etc.

Next, is it not a form of persecution and a loss of freedom of speech when someone honestly states their thoughts when interviewed, then being pressured to resign from his career as in the case of a neurosurgeon.

As in Singapore recently, when opinions are sought, given humanly and respectfully yet things turn into messiness. Where is tolerance, acceptance and freedom of expression done and reciprocated as civilized human beings ?

More of a case akin to killing intolerance but the monstrous self ( selves )turns out to the killer of freedom of expressions and intellectual discourse to satiate personal / vendetta and agendas.

Is there freedom of expressions on planet earth, in the corridor of intelligentsia, places of worship,
in the so called human rights ( ? ) which will not persecute speakers, and society for their sincere honest opinions for the betterment of any concerns ? Or is there absolutely non ?

The human rights lawyers and teachers of laws worldwide will have to start working on these issues. No not the Bolehland's type, reading from scripts. The Azmi's students type and the late Karpal Singh's.

Anonymous said...

Oops typo :
every must be haram ->
everything should be halal

there is no need -> there would be no need
----------------------------------

Anonymous said...

1/2

It is strange the goons say it is an offence to utter bigotry, hatred and prejudice that destroy unity of the multiracial Rakyat but it says a lot when it is condoned and offenders are not prosecuted. When the goons crazily start offending the minorities and if there are idiots from them starting likewise, then the same standard of prosecution is executed, or is it not ? How does it become efficient and effective to stop the garbage ? Are there instigators or defenders of wrongdoings to topsy - turvy (?) the unity of the nation ? The majority puts a stop to it.

While I was having a short summer break, my head turned to hear flawless English, it's really good, but then tengok2 Melayu elite teens swearing profanities in public. The same goes to other kids from elite families.

Prof, would it not shock you to witness teens snapping their fingers in swanky F&B outlets in Damansara Heights, Bangsar SC, at the waiters / waitresses. I wanted to be back in developed nations then and swiftly where civility and mutual respect is the culture and standard of service daily.

After reading several acknowledgements about the Taiwanese' attributes : extremely hardworking, very friendly and helpful, disciplined, it triggered some thoughtful discussion with a few good multiracial friends.

One lamented that some well educated members think that prayers have to said in impeccable English while a few Chinese educated epitomise praying in Beijing Mandarin. Teasing the good friend, to impress God that they are VIP ? Insanely funny and mindless. Yet he shared that many prayers from broken hearts are answered in whatever languages.

Similarly in the case for some who are taught that only Arabic is used for prayer. Still prayer in BM by many for peace and goodwill for all in the nation is answered by the Almighty God.

Then he shared that there is this silence of lesser regard amongst the Gerakan, MCA ,etc leaders and supporters toward those who can't speak, read or write in Chinese.
To which it is replied that Malays who speak and write in flawless English are considered lesser Malay, worse unpatriotic. Same treatment.

So how does it affect the spontaneity and efficiency in handling the tragic MH 370 incident when the goon leadership was thrust in dealing with the world media ? And then there are others who waste the tax payers' and their parents' investment in learning BC language courses or attending elite boarding schools and private schools using flawless English to swear profanities in public places.

Anonymous said...

2/2

Could it the consequence of the manipulation by the systematic planners that Malays are weak when they are polite, very rational and peaceful, jaga budi pekerti like our Ayah Emak, Atuk's DNA ? It is this exemplary type of DNA regardless of the level of education, where status and showmanship is not accepted, but humility, peace and justice is godliness or it has been tainted by pakLAWAN masqueraded as
terlebih Melayu ?

Consecutively, the cousins of the Taiwnese in Bolehland, would be more admirable by unlearning their impatience at parking, driving, having no time for pleasantry toward customers when doing business small or medium size. The Malay traders are quite good at exchanging common consideration, courtesy and they are willing to give discounts as in rezeki murah berkatNYA. However, the eternal value has also been tainted by the goon capitalists and their squealer machinery.

In every faith and keen consciousness or convictions, even in Islam, in practising a great sense of responsibility and usefulness, it is OK to make money, but not to be greedy and monopolise at the expense of oppressing others, the educated youth, the elderly, the handicapped to face unemployment and uncertainties day in day out from New York, Tokyo, London, Calcutta, Tunisia, to Lagos, etc and in too many suburbs and outskirts based on needs in Bolehland.

Nevertheless how do tens selling the same nasi lemak, durians, fried kuay teow or small wares or clothes along the same stretch of road survive when the customer base remain stagnant or reduced during public holidays or on MCs or with limited personal / family disposal income ?

The elected BN politicians lack innovation, alongside their immediate families, they are disinterested in doing ongoing reflection of and revisiting hardships. The sincerity to make proportionate personal sacrifices and resourcefulness to open up fresh business opportunities, and concurrently invest in skills training, tools and links to produce and sell new beneficial products, as in CPRs. And not asking for a monetary cut by the BN alliance representatives and the big goons regardless of whether the trading is small, medium or glcs. Talking about the true understanding in the agama by the goon defenders ? Defender of corruption, monopoly, racial hatred, taking interest, making immense wealth, status conscious and bodeking ? Or defender of the poor based on needs, the unemployed, justice and doing things right ?

How much is the relevance of agama of any kind if its believers are forever suspicious, restrict fellow believers from accepting and giving sincere assistance to believers of other faith / fellow human beings. Is it then not restricting selves and others from doing what is right and just as being responsible to society ?

Heard of assisting others to make self and receivers happy is self- centered. How insane can the non thinking theory be ?

Buat pun susah, tak buat pun susah, peduli apa, just do it right swiftly, sincerely based on needs within the nation first, minus the showmanship.

Selamat Berpuasa Dr. Azly and all !

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