Lumpy Lady

Once I met a lumpy lady who was
once married to Humpty
and then married to Dumpty
She came to Old Malaya in the Kon Tiki
She had a baby she called Bambi
whose daily work consist of mass producing yellow gooey
Baby called the gooey “slimy”
but lady lumpy was happy daily
and she became hefty eventually
until one day ... she met a real man from Papua New Guinea
Befittingly lumpy was hefty and her new hubby was not whimpy
Lady lumpy was once a first lady
actually married to the baby gooey’s daddy
whose head shines gloriously
like an empty plate of chicken scampi
or an imaginary Alfredo fettuccine
So – first married to Humpty,
then to Dumpty, and
next to slimy baby gooey’s daddy
from Papua New Guinea
I have to repeat this fact occasionally
To jog your poor memory
What a strange lumpy hubby
from Papua New Guinea
who knows only three English words: “Yeah lumpy baby ...”
He learned from Austin Powers in the movie
Now -- that’s too many words since they were married
God … why am I lumpy? she once asked her Guinea hubby ...
and that was the beginning of a long long story
you wouldn’t want to hear from me ....
With regrets I met Lady Lumpy
Aren’t you all glad that’s the end of the story?