A LADY and A PEUGEOT a malaysian road rage story

by azly rahman

I was at the parking lot one day
near a Malaysian teh tarik stall near the lagoon Sunway
I saw a giggly kind of incident
a young Malay lady in tudung was trying to jump
on a Chinese Uncle without a tudung ..

and it was a funny scene
that became quiet obscene
and worse there were many people at the scene
wondering if it was the shooting of a movie scene

The lady had her Peugeot
when I was a little kid, when I could not say the right word
I call the car a PIJOT
an insect that is a sister-in-law to the bed bug PIJAT daily we fought
Yes, PEUGOET was the tudung-ed lady's car
and PIJOT was her pet insect she kept in her booth

The young lady was mad I did not know why
maybe she wanted to become a gangster and become totally wild'
but she got bitten by a pijot and almost died that day
and she ended up driving her PEUGEOT all day
till the battery died like a lover betrayed

I am still trying to figure out what happened
she was like a mad woman all of a sudden
a lady Suarez
demon possess'd
I should not have been a busybody
and stayed drunk with my teh tarik and kepala ikan curry
and read my magazine The National Lampoon
I bought in Chow Kit with the price of a Dutch klompen

I should have waited to find out
by playing a playback video
(like they do in the brazilian world cup)
of what the lady said to the poor elegant apek
who was patient enough to receive the verbal blows
coming from the lady who was shouting
and yelling and break-dancing like a pro'

What was funny was she had a steering lock
she waved to the poor old man who was at first in shock
and the shock turned to tai chi and
tai chi turned into being scared
of the angry tudong-ed malay minachi

Still I did not know what happened
In fact nobody knew what actually happened
But things happen
and I will not let my spirit be dampened
I now vow --- by the sound of a Peugoet
and by Pijat or by Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun
I will find out what happened

So- folks before I go on a journey to find our what happened
Do you all know what happened?
But one thing for sure
I will not buy a Peugeot
if the demons in it will make me turn into
a pijat one day
and a pijot another day
and bite my steering-lock in anger
while the poor tai chi master of an old man
was chanting mantras
like a good man with a good chi
as patient as the Malaysian chocolate Cadbury

But be warned my friends
Be warned
Be warned
it is never about race or religion
those reasons are lame and ancient
it is simply about a lady who loved her Peugeot
who snacks on steering-locks daily
and could not control her anger
and the demons in her Peugeot
summoned a force inside her -- greener that a PAS logo
and that moment ignited that deadly spark
and turned her into an Incredible Hulk

-- - ar