Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Perak Darul Absurd




Perak Darul Absurd


My moments of linguistic relief is to imagine what words look like and why names are as such. When I was a child growing up in Johor, I always wonder why there are names of places as refreshing as Segamat (‘segar amat), Yong Peng (which rhymes with yong tau foo), Pontian ( a haven for pontianaks), Mersing (a place where giants sneeze).

I still could not think of Hospital Kandang Kerbau in Singapore as a place where jaundiced baby buffaloes get placed in incubators. In short, Stamford raffles would not want to be born in a hospital full of water buffaloes, even.

A child’s imagination. Language and thought at play. Language shapes reality. Language is Reality. Or is it -- language limits reality. Speechless, formless "it" is -- as the Taoist would say. Be like Nature because we are Nature.

I suppose my childhood self-play with language further intrigued me and forced me to think of meaningless names of places such as Cyberjaya and Putrajaya along with those such as NusaJaya or whatever “jayas" that means and shouts victory to cut-throat capitalism. From inscriptions come installation comes institutionalization to ideology and the cycle continues – the cycle of absurdity that robs humanity out of its existence.

My life, Fate decreed and like a vagabond by Intelligent Design, brought me to places in Malaysia. First to Pahang, then to Shah Alam, and next to Perlis and Kedah. In all these places names intrigued me. They forced my imagination to the Bakhtinian carnivalesque dance in a Hegelian fashion. These names forced me to think of contradiction and what form of historicizing created such names of which many are absurd to the max.

Growing up I was often told that Perak is the most populated place on earth where people live everywhere; in Parit ( monsoon drain), Lumut (mosses), Dinding (wooden wall), Ipoh (in the Ipoh tree), and Mambang di Awan (a bigfoot-like creature that resides in the clouds). The last one sounds like Socrates as depicted in the Greek master dramatist’s Aristophanes’s play The Clouds.

Perak Darul Absurd replace Perak Darul Ridzwan. The land of the warring faction between Ghee Hin and Hai Sans, and the land of Larut-Matang in which the more history progresses (sejarah berlarutan) the less mature politics has become (semakin tidak matang). Semakin sejarah berlarutan, semakin kurang kematangan.

My obsession with the word absurd came from a period in my life where I was engrossed with the Literature of the Absurd; of Franz Kafka, Albert Camus, Jean Paul Sartre, Nikolai Gogol, Samuel Beckett, and Eugene Ionesco. It was a strange period not just for me but especially for the genre. It was a time of cynicism; of Catch-22, No Exit, The Plague, Oriflamme, and Waiting for Godot. Even Indonesian writers most notably Putu Wijaya and to some extent Sutardji Calzoum Bachri were influenced by the genre.

Perak is in an absurd state. Perak Negeri Absurdus. See, I cannot even find a nice Malay translation for it; it has no precedence in Malay history. Take any state in Malaysia and think of its contradiction.

Or is it Perak Darul Ridiculous?

22 comments:

BornMalaysian said...

Azly, how about the politicians, community leaders and opinion shapers like yourself propose that May 13 becomes a public holiday in Malaysia, called Unity Day, a special day that celebrates all things Malaysian. A day of celebration of Malaysian culture, art, innovations, talks by Malaysian experts, concerts, movies, exhibitions, food fairs, etc. A day for Malaysians to reaffirm its commitment to 1Malaysia. A day for reflection on the lessons of history so that we can move forward together as one. A day for all Malaysians to mingle, interact and celebrate our unique cultural diversity. It could even become a tourist attraction like Oktoberfest in Germany! I hope that I will live long enough to see Unity Day take place in Malaysia.

Happy May 13!

P.S. Studies show that racial discrimination is largely caused by lack of education and lack of interaction between people of different racial and cultural backgrounds. Studies show that people with neighbours of a different race and culture are much less likely to be racists.

Thurai said...

That's good! How about your name? What does Azly mean?

DR. AZLY RAHMAN said...

Hmmm... it means either "nothingness" or "eternity". Maybe. :-)

DR. AZLY RAHMAN said...

Unity Day --excellent suggestion, BornMalaysian!

Anonymous said...

"Perak Darul Absurd" perfect brother!!!
Let me ask you in Malaysia who is to be blamed by the future generation? Politicians or the rakyat?
Will we see a new Malaysia, a backward Malaysia of Zimbabwe alike or there will be no more Malaysia just Malaya?
Will there be another Chin Peng type revolution of the same kinda modus operandi but much more high tech bias that will rip off the nation.
My imagination is running wild. Stay cool in New York!!! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Janda Baik(Pahang) always fascinate me but give me Janda Jahat(where?) anytime!

Anonymous said...

If that cultural Marxist deity, 'Diversity' is to be honoured with a holiday, then, perhaps, we are entitled to ponder this question, viz., If something is accepted as "a good thing" then, axiomatically, we should have more of it but how much renewed Chinese and Indian immigration would the Malays like?

Anonymous said...

Absurdity in the State of Perak due to low quality mindset sitting at the high chairs in the country.

From State Assembly to the Court House to the Istana making fools of themselves.

Perakian in particular and Malaysians in general are sick and tired of the sendiwara.

Cant they just let Perakians call the shot once and for all. Who are the king makers end of the day in 21 century?



Dr Azly,

Hope our next generations can achieve a beautiful mindset like yours. It's unfortunate that politics has poisoned mind of the young since early school day. Biro Tata Negara still exist poisoning the seeds of the country. Just wonder how the outcome going to be 20 yrs down the road.

Today May 13 2009 is special day for the country; marking 40 yrs after innocence blood shed. Believe we in general have not learnt from history as history was covered up and distorted by few. How many actually know what happen in 1969? Besides clashing between races and army random shooting, is it a plot to bring down TAR?

Just pray for heavenly intervention to restore this nation. May justice prevail.

YC

Anonymous said...

Unity starts with education.Make it compulsory all MALAYSIAN children attend 11 years national school with mandatory mother language u see the new GERERASI MALAYSIA .Close all Chinese and Tamil schools only national school available to all malaysians 1MALAYSIA. MALAYSIA BOLEH

BornMalaysian said...

Anonymous 11:07 PM, to answer your question watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmHloU_xEJo

BornMalaysian said...

Anonymous 11:23 PM, to me it's not about closing different types of school, but rather, it's about unification of the Malaysian school curriculum. To progress, all primary and secondary subjects need to be taught in English, because English is the language of the world and The Internet. Most of the leading scientific and economic research is published in English. If Malaysia wants to stay competitive, we need citizens who have a good command of English, Science and Mathematics. Our science and math scores have progressively been dropping down the world rankings for the past 5 years. Most fresh grads today cannot even speak proper English. In a nutshell, our education system needs a major overhaul.

Anonymous said...

When you hear stories upon stories that come from our national schools, racist principle to teachers to education officers, so much so that my friend gave up and migrated to Irland for the sake of the children, do you still want to send your children to the school from hell?

People are watching. Till the day national schools achieve certain mark and stop all these nonsenses, till then probably chinese and tamil schools will no longer relevent.

We will never come to pass in this generation.

YC

Anonymous said...

"my friend gave up and migrated to Irland (sic)". This happened simply because, unlike the eminently sensible Malays, the ovine Europeans, their brains addled by Marxist superstitions about racial equality and multi-culturalism, are now too obtuse to protect their legitimate Ethnic/Genetic interests in their own homelands.

art harun said...

How about Darul Katak?

Anonymous said...

Darul Takziah?

Anonymous said...

I second the idea of the Unity Day on May 13. Perhaps it is time to celebrate our unity in diversity rather than be segregated.

Darn good idea.

Anonymous said...

Syukur i have a nose that can smell & it doesn’t grow long if i lie.

With this nose, i get to be a nujum/sherlock holmes whiffing & sniffing various scattered scraps/bits of info/clues (that others also see but choose to take for granted/ignore) to piece together to form incredibly stark kaleidoscopes that help me see/envision/ conceptualise/understand the context/complexity of issues affecting the bubble/pecking order/class strata i live in.

Strange but true. It is from reading/hearing absurdity (esp from frothing high kasta spitting trotters in their moment of stupor - 'drunks don’t lie') that my common sense & creative logical mind are often triggered to snuff out crap - and from that, i get to instinctively dig/unearth to find buried/covered up/forgotten history/truth, formulate/test assumptions & bring forth/cook up even more theories/explanations/bullshits that sometimes become other people's pricking nightmares.

Of coz, one need to seek out to find facts/truths to dispel widespread lies about their 'glorious' past/origins/genes/pump up pedigrees - just like a physicist wud do in formulating relativity laws: even getting others to shoot photos of solar eclipses to detect & measure warp space around the sun to proof his new found hunch/equation.

Or like Soros’ reflexivity - who cud make his believers bet their bottom dollar on his self fulfilling economic theory to short the baht that trigger tomyam fever that no doctor can cure for years.

Where am i going with this long winded crap?
Heheh bums/u may take it as a balm as u read, even in denial.

Well, to keep u entertained/furious/not disappointed, let me tell u a STORY IN A STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED WHEN MELAYU BETRAY MELAYU - THE SIGNIFICANCE OF WHICH ONE WILL ONLY SEE WITH HINDSIGHT, IF AT ALL…

But before that, let me again digress further, waffle a bit more so that u will remember this:

This talk about the Virtues of Assimilating Immigrants - can i ask if u fellas have looked at Latin America to see whether it is the Natives who are the beautiful people doing the samba/salsa/chacha in the tele novellas? Or are the lucky ones always the descendents of the ruthless Invaders of doubtful bloodlines?

Are the passive natives in control of the economies of argentina brazil bolivia columbia sucking out its resources till this day since their arrival?

& Oh, do tell me please where in USA /Aust are the red indians/aborigines?

So go smell the cockamamie first before going gaga

Ok back to today's crux:

ADA KAH ANDA KENAL SIAPA DOL SAID DATO SEROJA MERAH PENGHULU NANING WARIS KE-9 BERTARAF MENYAMAI RAJA/SULTAN SUKU SEMELENGGANG/PARTNER SUKU BIDUANDA?


Moh kita mula pada tanggal 1811 - si Petualang Raffles waktu itu sedang mati kutu mengawet cengkerik dalam balang obat cina mati menghabiskan his junior days climbing up the company ladder.

Obviously he was cold storaged early in his career in Malacca, for being the young brash fart he was, sent as far away from his HQ in Penang by his 'superior' seniors who wud rather not see him perform as he had before making it big time having wised up & join in the sucking up of Lord Minto to secure a promotion.

He then went on to clinch Spore from the Temengong of Johore in 1819 (which ain’t anywhere as rich as Lahore by any measure, or else the brits wud be lips licking eager, or even Bengal/Bangla land, that the British choose to ransack at will) to build his empire, developing a colony of opportunists (mostly suckers who never made it/died in vain) - on the back of opium, gambling, prostitution racket & human trafficking revenues.

May i remind u to check with Lky who wud sooner have a different spin as usual.

Circa 1821: Raffles aided/sheltered/protected an asshole raja/traitor/collaborator/refugee who had tipped the vicious Buddhist Thai king to wipe out nearly the entire royal kedah household at a wedding function.

The bugger fled to kneel at Raffles’ smelly feet when Datok Panglima Gantang from the Palace of Kwala Kangsar, which was then a part of Kedah, chased his tail. Read this at http://sejarahnagarakedah.blogspot.com/


It is he who was instructed by Raffles as a pay back to reinvent the History of Malaya according to Raffles that you, your father & grandfather picked up in school till this day.

[which is certainly a different cock & bull if you get to hear my grandfather's stories passed down from his grandfather who will tell u not to be like William Farquhar (whose notable achievement was to engineer the bombing of A Farmosa which was more majestic than the London tower) with his whisky, taking cooked up shit to make Raffles smell good & come what may to have faith in your jatidiri & tawakal in God's Plan for you.]

Soon after, u get hai sans & ghee hins taking sides in malay rulers'/pembesar2 orang kaya power squabbles -- resulting in the inundation of kung foo yap ah loys who die for nothing fighting in tanah melayu in numbers never seen before/since.

That’s why many still believe their foreign lost kong foo souls still roam hungry at every odd sudut/corner & sempang jalan having noone to help them pluck abandon/abundant bananas from the trees, unlike more capable local monkeys.

Wonder why & how also, conversely, their non sword wielding schrewed businessman ancestors cud do better than their kong foo frlying types -- cud ‘take care’ of them & themselves in the nether world..Hmmm..

Most people have forgotten that even before the day Raffles was born, Naning was an independent Malay State neighbouring Malacca.

Check out the website of Majlis Daerah Alor Gajah that clearly states that the area was already inhabited since the 12th century ie more that 150 years before Parameswara - in fact before Adityavarman became a proxy of the javanese ruling the minangkabaus at pagaruyung.

The malay people of Naning was forced to pay protection money to the dutch amounting to 10% of their padi harvest.

Who cud forget what the dutch had done in maluku burning kayu manis, buah pala, buah keras, lada sula & cengkih crops in order for them to corner a monopoly control of the spice trade.

Wud u want yr padi fields be burnt in the dry season just before harvest time & risk starvation of yr kampong folks the following year & not to mention not getting married & enjoy sex to make babies?

The minang people had left their kampong to come to malaya to escape from the jawa centuries earlier & had drained the lowlands to turn into fertile padi fields to be chased out again? - to run where mann?

That’s despite the minang men being natural economic migrants sacrificing to let the women folks own their lands.

Who would be so heartless to do that kind of dirty job if not the desperate landless newcomers who were & still are so envious of the prosperous landowning malays.

Remember in 1831 padi fields everywhere were so expansive - spreading as far as the eye cud see all across tanah melayu.

The only available lands were the forested hills. There were no more swamps to turn to padi fields.

True to british nature, these sneaky people found a pretext to start a war.

They soon deem the payment of “tax” that was earlier paid to the dutch (then assigned to them with the swapping of malacca for batavia) as subjugation of the Naning people & thus claim sovereignty over their lands as part of malacca -- to be governed by their laws.

Hence the First Naning War.

Bengali sepoys were paid to load cannon balls onto bullock carts & march 18 miles inland from malacca on dirt tracks to face keris waving Pasukan Melayu Bersatu comprising Seri Menanti, Sungai Ujong, Johol and Muar

Pepatah Melayu kata Sarang Tebuan Jgn Dijolok. But they did & soon found themselves jumping into the river & concede defeat.

The following year they tried again.
But by this time Melayu dah berpocah.
Ontah apo puncho eh, Rombaw, jiran sobolah topi pon x nak laiii tolong Naning dah.

Akhirnya, tewas kalah la dio..
Pengikut Dol Said jadi pelarian menumpang ko Jasin.

Punca kekalahan Perang Naning II kerana >> Melayu bepocah & Yam Tuan bantu tentera bengali british dengan kerahan pendekar melayu.

Sanggup ke Dato Naning tengok perang sedara? Bukan yang datang menyorang kapir orang putih

Lantas, sampai ke awal 1900, duduk la pelarian2/pengikut2 Dol Said tepi colah colah kangkang kelompok tetamu baru yang sampainya dihangkut masuk berduyun2 berbondongbondong membukak “tanah baru” di bori geran bosar hakmilik kokal

Sampai tahun 50 tak lai ado yang berani kayuh besikar masuk kawasan hitam belakang kampong aziz tapa tompek menginapnya kuli yang bukak tanah
-- yg penduduknya marah kat Baba Cheng Lock mungkir janji dengar british nak hantar dia balik ramai2 naik tongkang lopeh british dah dapek estet

Malah bertahun2 tak ado bas deirek lalu laluan Alor Gajah – Jasin. Orang Jasin nak ke Tampin kono turun melako dulu baru salin bas. Sebab machap kuat. Keras.

Tu la kesah sebonar Satria tu terobang ke London buek berunding mintak nyawa.

Tu la..

Dek kerono jiran buek x kesah habis dah tanah melayu.

Geng Ah Loy Pin Kau Tian Guan & penyagak hai lo hong mula 'memajukan' bukit botak ke macap ke ulu batang melaka ke kesang pajak ke melaka pindah ke tiang dua sampai air molek ke air keroh hingga alor tali air mengalir mcm kencing budak kecik hari ni.. memampuihkan sawah padi

[Today Naning, once an independent state, is not even a Daerah unlike Tampin or the other remaining 'Negeris' that subsequently also got relegated.

Yang Di Pertuan dari Pagar ruyung.. Thats why foreigners, bukan anak warga jati, yg bagi jalan masuk bukak Springfield - Bkt Pelandok – Labu-Mambau-Rantau-Pok Deksen.]

Maleh nak sambung Cerita Nadi Budak Marginal -- Perempit yang terpaksa merempat hari ni akibat gelagat Pembesar. Samo yo..sojak dulu

Thank u Harrison thank you Crossfield thank you darby et al. Thank u oso u know who lah. Jgn benci2/buat emm chee aah...

Anonymous said...

Methinks this transcription of logorrhea might be from someone who has spent some time in the company of the incomparable Salleh Ben Joned.

Wintermute

Anonymous said...

itulah sikap pendatang nah merampeh yo kojo eh
hati org melayu tdk bersatu kerana kuasa wang dan nafsu serakah memanng bangsa kalau tak beriman akan tidak aman dan tenteram sentiasa bermusuh tengok Yahudi,US DAN ALLIES dah mampuh sok tau lah ALLAHUAKBAR

Anonymous said...

Let’s look at it this way: Perak is indeed a metastable state where any arbitrary choice/decision in the many ambiguous situations it leads itself will not solve “The Problem”.

In electrical engineering digital logic, the boundary between ambiguous values and unambiguous values will merely introduce ANOTHER binary decision with its own metastable state.

Kind like Jean Buridan's ass, given Freedom Of Choice, would be facing indecision/paradoxical situation, wherein placed exactly in the middle between two stacks of hay of equal size and quality, the ass will starve to death since it cannot make any rational decision to start eating one rather than the other.

Thanks Doc, am beginning to enjoy reading into Philosophy with problems like this in life: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dining_philosophers_problem;)

ajoyly said...

A name is just a name. You can call a Rose by any other name, it is still a Rose. Well it is good too see the funny side of names especially of places. And this shows that there are humor in names.

Anonymous said...

Message can either come in silence/din.

The Malay Underclass has always been conditioned since the British days to resign to a station in life in restricted capacity within their fencing in order to keep others gainfully happy as they enjoy support to move up & out to exploit/prosper by any stretch of imagination.

It has always been about them ensuring the equilibrium of a Zero Sum Game that must at all cost be in their favour.

So be it seeing that that is how things always get to stay - till more Altruists will come forward to prick the conscience of others.

Noone can make anyone see the flipside of their standpoint if they are already contented in their cocoon, contemplating their awaited "transformation" to be that beautiful butterfly.

Ahh... but many forget they could just as easily be mothballed - & bred/mouthfed instead to end up in a boiling pot to give to others that colourful fabric that they don't get to fashion as they please.

Such is the pecking order as we move on in life.

Much as i rather read than write, i have never missed taking time off to watch movies reflecting the state of life that is full of distortions being projected as purportedly beautiful by dreamweavers...

--

I also remember when i was in school i get marks for being right & telor for being wrong.

I guess that is why most Average Kids these days are so sacred to fail & so they slog just to earn miserable marks - just as their Average Mums & Dads hempas pulas to earn their miserable pay.

Everyone goes on happily/willingly live to abide by Rules & Laws that others clamp on them - same Rules & Laws that don't apply to law breakers if they are the lawmakers themselves.

Yet God AlMighty would still reward his faithful servant a well deserved point for his effort in seeking Truth, even if he goes far off tangent from right. For he will still be guided in his journey that he dared to start. I take my strength in knowing just that.

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